Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
