We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
