I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
