I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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