I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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