She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
