It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
