C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
