Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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