your parents love me but you hate me
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
