Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
