Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
