But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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