this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
