the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
