Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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