when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
