They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
