I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
