i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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