Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
