i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
