Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
