when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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