Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
