Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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