ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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