$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
