I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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