Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
