TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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