I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Terrible idea I love it
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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