dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
