I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
