i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
