So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
