he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
nutella sex= disaster
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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