Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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