On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
