you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dignity is for republicans.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
