got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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