You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
