Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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