so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
