You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
