His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
