But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
