just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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