i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
