I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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